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We are trying to conceive now, and I am contemplating if this was the right path for me. Point is, I can push myself to my extreme physical ends and he has barely broken a sweat. No where did I say, nor I think indicate, that I thought this wasn't a complex issue, or that this girl is a caricature. When you said that the doctor spouse sacrifices for their patients and their family sacrifices for the doctor's career, it really described my situation. Patriarchal leadership is something that most women in the world valued until recently, but it is still a chief value with Mormons.
First and most importantly, I see major trust issues in your future if you both think the other is brainwashed. He could come home from trips and I was too worn out to fake the good cheer. This was the biggest one for me. Unless you have some super amazing other dating prospect there isn't a huge reason to cut this relationship off now. I think you need to sit down and have a conversation with him about all of this, because that's truly the only way to get to the bottom of it and make a decision for yourself. Mormons are also taught "Families can be together forever. I was just told that today when I told a friend how lonely it gets being married to a doctor and how I miss having my bestfriend around. Pay for the first few dates. It broke my shelf, we left as an entire family, and our marriage is better than ever. But our marriage is strong, and our children are good people.